Ok, so if you are a parent blessed by having a daughter your sleepless nights starts when puberty sets in. Somewhere the time will come when you have to gather the courage to have “the talk” about the birds and the bee’s. Thank goodness I missed the session because Kendall surprised us at the age of 10 in becoming a woman. How do you explain the birds & the bee’s to a non verbal girl with Autism? No different than how you would explain it to a “normal” girl. How they cope and deal with it is where the fun starts. Going through “that week” of the month, we soon learned would not be an option. In very Autistic logical, methodical and literal thinking “if it bleeds it’s must be broken” which in Kendall’s case created a very messy affair.
Our options consisted on “the Pill”, bi-monthly injections or Hysterectomy. Out of my experience most woman forget to take it, oops, that’s why we also have a 3 year old running around. There goes “the Pill” idea. Hysterectomy involves intrusive surgery & conflicting legal issues, so we opted for bi-monthly injections. Thinking in an Autistic way “why the hell would you inject me if I’m not sick?”
We had to overcome the trauma of phobia for needles, fortunately Kendall manage the injection part fairly ok, I am the pale one after the injection. We have our system which stays consistent every time. Verbal prep starts about 2 days in advance. On arrival the nursing sister would load up around the corner, Kendall bend over, I start sweating, we starting to count 1, 2, 3 pain in the ass starts, whilst we count to 10 and all finish & done. My sigh of relief in getting the next date 2 months before the next sweat.
I should feel privileged that Kendall will only go with me, the times Julie took her she nearly cost us half our annual salary. The other half of our annual salary we spend on replacing clothes for Kendall. The injection (and yes we have tried all of them) created nice hormonal moments, which we can track through emotional most of the time aggressive outbursts. The peeps at PEP(boutique) think there must be something wrong with Julie buying new clothes every second day. The injections also contribute significantly to weight gain, with a constant 70kg for a 13 year old on a well balanced diet. We don’t feed our kids crap like MaccyD’s. We are lucky, some families really struggle with girls and how nature always works in cycles.
Just a peak into to a daily reality in the life of the Adams family.
Cazpi says:
Wow. Things I seriously didn’t give a second thought to. I can only imagine what you guys all go through – and you are amazing.
1st March 2010 at 7:12 am
Gerhard Pieterse aka jail4bail says:
Cazpi Thanx, felt a bit weird for a dad to write about girly things.
1st March 2010 at 9:11 am
Cath says:
It’s simple really. You and @brottonlass are superheroes that walk the earth and are powered by love. Thank you for being an inspiration to me. X
1st March 2010 at 11:26 am
Gerhard Pieterse aka jail4bail says:
Cath, Thanx, just the peeps next door doing our little bit for Autism
1st March 2010 at 11:30 am
Claire says:
Think I’m still trying to get my head around the 3rd line! Our little Angel is 9 now so to say I’m grateful for this article is an understatement. Best info received, is that which is passed on from parent to parent. Thanks for sharing
1st March 2010 at 12:06 pm
Gerhard Pieterse aka jail4bail says:
As parents usually we have to learn the hard and personal way managing our unique children’s challenges
1st March 2010 at 12:20 pm
pragmaticmom says:
would kendall read a book that gently explains the birds and the bees and then you could see if she has questions by her pointing out sections of the books or illustrations? i have some great, appropriate sex ed books for girls on my blog
other moms have suggested some of the books and this has been a popular post for me.
see gray navigation bar with posting: The Birds and the Bees Talk.
hope this helps!
Pragmatic Mom
1st March 2010 at 4:09 pm
Gerhard Pieterse aka jail4bail says:
Kendall is non-verbal and agree peeps with Autism better learn with visual perception & understanding. The “invisible” problems are hormones which directly affects her presenting mood swings which usually manifest in the challenging and very aggressive outburst, which included self injury and people within her close proximity. I compare it to a Puff Adder (snake), from passive to exploding to passive within 5 seconds, with NO pre-warning.
1st March 2010 at 4:33 pm
Cams says:
All the strength to you guys! My Tash is 9 and the hormones have started and I’ve realised I’ve got to learn a new language – Tween! I haven’t figured it out yet but when the mood swings come we may as well be speaking a lost language that neither of us understand. I can only imagine how much more challenging it must be for you with Kendall. However, even with Tash understanding the birds and the bees, the hormones override any reasoning, knowledge or understanding.
1st March 2010 at 10:09 pm
Gerhard Pieterse aka jail4bail says:
The pleasures of having Monsters Inc. Some days you want to love them to death, other days you wonder why you did’nt.
1st March 2010 at 10:35 pm