10 years ago Kendall our daughter was diagnosed with severe Autism, which was a pretty devastating time in our life. As a family we “adopted” this challenge as a family when we soon realised that there are very limited services available for children with Autism in South Africa.

We had to “Adapt” our life to the change and it was difficult when we realised that Kendall will always be dependent on us as her only support structure in her life. We invested our lives into ensuring that Kendall gets the best. This meant that we lost every thing we owned. I remember times of tutors buying us a bag of potatoes as only food in the house & walking to the shop with a plastic bag with bottles to get money for petrol. This we did based on “emotional blackmail” by private service providers, for gain & hiding behind religion, who casually made statements like: “she will talk within 6 months and will start in a normal school, all you have to do is…” Which naive parent wouldn’t give their life for their children.

We have lived Autism for the last 10 years trying to “improve” the life of other families sharing a lifestyle with Autism. In certain areas we failed horribly, but I feel that we have made a difference even if it’s a very small one.

October 2010 my family will “Adopt” the English lifestyle in the UK. I love South Africa with every drop of blood, however I need to look at what’s in the best interest of my family. I hope that what I have learned I will be able to contribute in a country where Government cares about it’s people, if they will have me.

We will be working our butt’s off until October, with some BIG changes about to happen which will change the face of Autism in South Africa, starting in April (Autism Awareness Month) and World Autism Awareness Day 2 April 2010.

“There is nothing magical about change, it is getting up of your ass and caring enough to take the first step to contribute to change on an issue you care about.” – Jody Williams – Nobel Prize Winner – 1997

Turning 39 is no big deal, no milestone date other than just another birthday with not much planned other than spending time with my awesome family, the way I like it. I woke up with my wonderful Julie and kids bringing pressies and singing Happy Birthday to daddy. What a great feeling to be blessed with my family. Jamie’s excitement in opening the pressies created lots of giggles. Just another day, that is if you don’t have an child with Autism in you house hold. Let me make it clear Kendall has difficulties with her own unique Autism and no one person with Autism is the same.

How does this day change, like Cape Town weather, in a bit of a sad day and interesting day?

With the house hold in Sunday relax mode, all of us on our jammies, Kendall burst into a psychotic mode, ripping her clothes, screaming, hitting herself, biting her favourite finger, throwing furniture around the room and attacking me with hatred in her eyes. I looked a the clock in defending myself and Jamie, thinking it’s not even 12 o’clock. Happy Birthday to me.

Now, this is nothing new in our household with Kendall ripping her clothes pretty much everyday. I looked at Kendall, feeling the tears building, and released again, how lucky I am with having 2 other neurotypical monsters around, who by now has caused havoc in the rest of the house.

The trigger for this behavior was simply because Kendall wanted to watch Teletubbies, whilst -Rubberbubbers was on.

Kendall went from wildly aggressive to a giggly 12 year old angel over a bath. Julie slaving over lunch, the finest English food, which I am sure the Heart Foundation would not approve off, to feed 4 house holds. I watched Jamie and Kendall interacting thinking, how great it was to see them together, which is something you don’t see on a regular basis.

Grandma and grandad arrived with pressies, with more singing and excitement. Kendall changed her clothes, which in retrospect, we should have seen her communication, even if she’s non-verbal.

Only when it was time for grandma & grandad to say goodbye did we realise her anticipation. She wanted to go and sleep over. Monday being school and grandma & grandad going away for the week, it was no option.

It triggered deja vu like in the morning, this time more aggressive and intense. For some reason the anger was directed my way and I did very well not to get scratched, bitten or hurt in the process. Kendall is as strong as a bull. I battle with my 123kg over 2 meter frame to protect myself and the rest of the family when she gets herself in the state.

Eventually it was bed time without too many hassles, screams, shouts and furniture flying around. We removed her favorite throwing table form her room and the quite after the storm set in.

The day ended with a high, a Happy birthday call from my mom and dad. In their mid-seventies living on the same small holding in Jozi for the last 40 years, makes me concerned most of the time, but today was different, it was my birthday.

Dad came on, with Happy Birthday my son, and bursting into tears. I though shit I am on 39 years old dad it’s not that bad. My dad followed up with, the car broke down, top gasket and tyre gone, his hobby job as loft keeper (Racing Pigeons) for a friend ended, because the guys own the Receiver a big money, the Chow and 3 of the 6 puppies died of tick bite fever, (1 black Chow-Chow puppy was heading our way) and then the final bit, it seems that my dad has a growth in/on his Prostate which he and the GP is very worried about. Test and biopsy for later this week.

Mom didn’t sound much better through the tears.

and still

Jamie is singing: “Happy Bifday to loo, Happy bifday to loo, hipi, hipi horay”