Jail4Bail – Most people live in jails without bars. The jails of their own minds. And sadly they are their own wardens.

I am dyslexic and I love it, I can write whatever I want.

Turning 39 is no big deal, no milestone date other than just another birthday with not much planned other than spending time with my awesome family, the way I like it. I woke up with my wonderful Julie and kids bringing pressies and singing Happy Birthday to daddy. What a great feeling to be blessed with my family. Jamie’s excitement in opening the pressies created lots of giggles. Just another day, that is if you don’t have an child with Autism in you house hold. Let me make it clear Kendall has difficulties with her own unique Autism and no one person with Autism is the same.

How does this day change, like Cape Town weather, in a bit of a sad day and interesting day?

With the house hold in Sunday relax mode, all of us on our jammies, Kendall burst into a psychotic mode, ripping her clothes, screaming, hitting herself, biting her favourite finger, throwing furniture around the room and attacking me with hatred in her eyes. I looked a the clock in defending myself and Jamie, thinking it’s not even 12 o’clock. Happy Birthday to me.

Now, this is nothing new in our household with Kendall ripping her clothes pretty much everyday. I looked at Kendall, feeling the tears building, and released again, how lucky I am with having 2 other neurotypical monsters around, who by now has caused havoc in the rest of the house.

The trigger for this behavior was simply because Kendall wanted to watch Teletubbies, whilst -Rubberbubbers was on.

Kendall went from wildly aggressive to a giggly 12 year old angel over a bath. Julie slaving over lunch, the finest English food, which I am sure the Heart Foundation would not approve off, to feed 4 house holds. I watched Jamie and Kendall interacting thinking, how great it was to see them together, which is something you don’t see on a regular basis.

Grandma and grandad arrived with pressies, with more singing and excitement. Kendall changed her clothes, which in retrospect, we should have seen her communication, even if she’s non-verbal.

Only when it was time for grandma & grandad to say goodbye did we realise her anticipation. She wanted to go and sleep over. Monday being school and grandma & grandad going away for the week, it was no option.

It triggered deja vu like in the morning, this time more aggressive and intense. For some reason the anger was directed my way and I did very well not to get scratched, bitten or hurt in the process. Kendall is as strong as a bull. I battle with my 123kg over 2 meter frame to protect myself and the rest of the family when she gets herself in the state.

Eventually it was bed time without too many hassles, screams, shouts and furniture flying around. We removed her favorite throwing table form her room and the quite after the storm set in.

The day ended with a high, a Happy birthday call from my mom and dad. In their mid-seventies living on the same small holding in Jozi for the last 40 years, makes me concerned most of the time, but today was different, it was my birthday.

Dad came on, with Happy Birthday my son, and bursting into tears. I though shit I am on 39 years old dad it’s not that bad. My dad followed up with, the car broke down, top gasket and tyre gone, his hobby job as loft keeper (Racing Pigeons) for a friend ended, because the guys own the Receiver a big money, the Chow and 3 of the 6 puppies died of tick bite fever, (1 black Chow-Chow puppy was heading our way) and then the final bit, it seems that my dad has a growth in/on his Prostate which he and the GP is very worried about. Test and biopsy for later this week.

Mom didn’t sound much better through the tears.

and still

Jamie is singing: “Happy Bifday to loo, Happy bifday to loo, hipi, hipi horay”